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Why Bodybuilders Find It Hard to Find Love

Why Bodybuilders Find It Hard to Find Love

Jay Cutler, Ronnie Coleman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dorian Yates: What do they all have in common? Yes, they are all legendary, Mr. Olympia-winning bodybuilders, but they also all have at least one divorce to their name. Chance?

No one is collecting data on divorce rates among bodybuilders, but someone certainly should because anecdotal evidence overwhelmingly suggests that bodybuilders and relationships just don’t mix. And it’s not hard to see why. For many people, having a partner who spends most of their time in the gym and the rest preparing the up to seven meals a day they eat isn’t ideal. It’s also not easy to date someone who doesn’t drink very often, or who goes to bars, clubs or restaurants (ie where many dates take place), especially not during the competition season. And does anyone actually sign a relationship with someone whose libido plummets off a cliff for at least a month every year? Probably not.

Bodybuilding,” says John Jewett, a three-time 212 Olympian, “is a selfish endeavor. You make sacrifices yourself, but whoever you have in your life, be it your partner, girlfriend or your friends, they make the same sacrifices along with you.

“In previous relationships it was almost seen as if you were just playing sports, like it’s a hobby, but it’s not, this is a passion and a goal in my life; it’s something that really defines me, and if it’s not recognized as such, it can be brushed off as insignificant,” he says. “Eventually that builds up in resentment and arguing and that’s why relationships don’t work out in the end.”

Jewett explains that to reach the top in professional bodybuilding, you have to embrace consistent monotony. That means you have to be prepared to eat the right diet, do the right workouts, and take the right supplements. You need to make sure you sleep well, day after day, month after month, and year after year. Everything in your life should revolve around the sport, because that’s what will separate the so-so from the superstars. “Bodybuilding is just all involved 24/7,” says Jewett.

Making that kind of commitment is hard enough when all you have to worry about is yourself, but if you’re in a relationship and your needs don’t always come first, forget it.

The problem with preparation

Bodybuilding is a selfish sport, but that’s not the only thing stopping competitors from finding love. As former IFBB pro bodybuilder and host of the Real Bodybuilding Podcast Fouad Abiad explains, a bodybuilder’s sheer size can also be a barrier to romance.

While most of us assume that going to the gym makes you more attractive, he says there’s a tipping point and that “the spectrum of women who want to be with a guy who weighs 230, 40, 50 pounds and is shredded or skinny is shrinking.” dramatic.”

For partners undeterred by size or selfishness, the final test of a relationship usually comes when a bodybuilder prepares for a show, when a combination of hunger, fatigue and stress can extinguish even the most intense flame.

“I have together with my [now] wife in the off season and we go out for dinner and everything is great,” explains Abiad. “The mood swings are very low and everything is normal because you are eating, you are not hungry and there is no pressure for a game, so your brain is functioning normally. Then I started to prepare for the competition.

“I get very isolated when I participate, so this person who was very emotional, very caring and had a great relationship with my [now] woman suddenly became a very quiet recluse, who was not talkative, looked angry half the time and was damn stressed.

“My wife has been taken back. She says, ‘Who is this person?’ Because I would get moody and quiet and go out a few times a day to go to work out and get out of the house.”

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