Parenting is a lot of hard work. It takes patience, several deep breaths, and a lot of reigning in of the emotions for the parents to deal with children. It is therefore only natural that after the umpteenth time of asking the child to do a chore, parents lose their temper.
However, that too is counterintuitive. Yelling at the child will not make the child obedient. Punishment is not the answer either.
In some children, yelling increases agitation and aggression. It may also make them rebellious or defiant even.
On the other hand, some children might start fearing their parents, and it may have a negative impact on their mental health, therefore meriting a visit to the best Child specialist in Lahore.
It is not just the bad moments in which communicating with children is hard. Even when through the good times, parents might not be communicating well with their children.
Therefore, it is vital for parents to know how to effectively communicate with their children, through the troublesome times, and otherwise as well. Following are some helpful tips to get ahead in the game:
1. Listen properly
Yes, you have a thousand things to do, and yes, you might think that what your child is talking about can be heard whilst making dinner, but it is this attitude that might hurt your child.
As people, we need to be heard. We want attention. When we are making conversation with someone, we want them to respectfully listen to it. When their attention is at other matters, it is natural that you feel disrespected and well, unheard.
Children will too, pick on this vibe. Not only will they react in a negative way next time, but some might even stop talking to their parents, period.
Therefore, be attentive when your child is making the communication. Listen with your body; make eye contact and be focused so your child feels heard.
2. Respond sensibly
Your child might have done something unwise, that exasperates you. Perhaps you have been through this point thousands of times already.
However, if you respond with negative emotion, censure, or a long lecture on the ways your child is lacking, they will stop telling you things. They want your support, not judgment.
So, hold back on the patronizing attitude. Weigh your words, so that your child does not feel berated, but rather, enlightened.
3. Do not negate their feelings
When you invalidate your child’s emotions and negate their reaction, you are doing a grave injustice to the child.
Instead, empathize with them, and then offer your advice or opinion, and not in a condescending way.
When you acknowledge their emotion, you help the child learn the feeling; when they put a name to it, they will feel less frustrated. This realization will also help the child formulate an appropriate response to the situation.
4. Offer them choices
Sometimes, it is important for children to be given some semblance of control, no matter how banal it might be. This makes the conversation more bilateral, rather than the strict role of subservience perceived otherwise by the children.
For example, when you want them to do some cleaning, give them an option of vacuuming or changing sheets. This gives the child confidence and a sense of being in control.
5. Get help
Sometimes, the lack of communication might be due to mental health issues, that either the child or parent faces. It may also be due to developmental issues, where the child is simply unable to understand their parents. In such cases, it is best to seek help from the respective professional, like a psychologist or pediatrician over at oladoc.com
